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Swami Beyondananda's

2013 State of the Universe Address

 

THE UNIVERSE'S MESSAGE TO HUMANITY:

Time to Shift or Get Off the Pot

 

"Start the world - I want to get ON!"

-- Swami Beyondananda

 

Well, the world didn't end on December 22, 2012.  Talk about an anti-climax.  The shift of the ages happened seamlessly, as the Creator hit Re-Start and the Show got renewed for another 26,000 years.

I don't know about you, but I'm inspired.  I'm like, "Start the world - I want to get ON!"

So let's just say the rapture happened and we all got born again without reincarnating.  In other words, the shift has hit the fan.  And if you're not a fan of shifting now, you will be soon.  The planets and stars have done their part.  Now it's time for humanity to shift our karma out of reverse and get our assets in gear.

You probably don't get the Timeless Times where you live, but beings from across the Universe are rooting for us.  Last month, their headline was, "We're Betting On the Human Race."

I know this because I just got back from a trans-universal tour seeking the Key to the Universe (turns out, it's been left unlocked so the joke was on me) and I come bearing a Universal message for humanity:  It's time to shift or get off the pot.

Or, stay on the pot if you need pot to shift you.  Whatever it takes. 

It's time for us to use our intelligence intelligently, and begin thinking like a species - because in terms of global footprint, call us Bigfoot.  And given our big global footprint, we must develop a big global brain and even bigger global heart to weave us back into the web of life.  We don't want to flunk third dimension, do we?

And if we are - as evolutionary biology is now telling us - all cells in the body of a super-organism called Humanity, it's time we gather all good intentions under One Big Intent:  Thrival for all.

I know, I know.  I am proposing a sane world.  I must be crazy.

But I'm not the only one.  More and more humans are going sane, and committing themselves to turning the world into one big sane asylum.  People are waking up and wising up, and the good news is the "evolutionary upwising" gathered esteem in 2012. 

Take the Presidential campaign - please!

In sharp repudiation of the conventional belief that there's no such thing as a moderate Republican, the people of the United States thumbed their nose at convention and actually elected one President.  So there!  No longer high on hopium, a more sober body politic made what they saw was the better choice - positive change in small increments, as opposed to negative change in large excrements.

Speaking of which, the never-ending war on terror ("We're going to win the war to end all wars, even if it takes us forever!") went droning on in 2012, and we now have space-age wind-up toys doing our assassinations for us.  As for success, it's been hit-and-miss, mostly hit.  Because even when they miss, they still hit something, right?

Oh, and in 2012 the climate over climate change got heated up, as reality-deniers faced off against ... well, reality.  So, is climate change real?  Well, I'll put it this way.  I just came back from a terrific vacation in the future.  Spent a glorious week in Tropicanada.

And the gun debate has had everybody up in arms.  Listen, every child in America should be taught the appropriate use of arms as soon as they have arms to raise - hugging.  Hug first, ask questions later.  Come up with your hands out!

If that doesn't isolate the sociopathogens, I don't know what will.

 

Join the UPwising - Wake UP, Wise UP, Grow UP, Show UP

Here's some good news.  Now is the perfect time to make the shift, and I will tell you why.  Because it's too late to do it sooner, that's why.  I'll put it bluntly. If we humans don't begin rowing together in the same direction, we're going to be up shift creek without a paddle.

Now as you know, there are two kinds of mystics in the world - the optimystics and the pessimystics.  The pessimystics tell us "the sky is falling!"  The optimystics say, "No ... it only looks that way, because WE are ascending."

Personally, I am an optimystic realist.  While many look at the world situation and declare the glass 95% empty, I take the opposite position.  To me, it's 5% full!

So yes, we have an uphill journey.  But otherwise, it's all downhill.

Now there are those who say a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, while others swear by the 12-step.  I present here a compromise - four simple steps to make sure we step out in the right direction, mathematically guaranteed to work three times faster than 12-step.

Now, if you remember I presented the same four-step program in last year's State of the Universe.  Please forgive me for serving up laughed-overs, but these four steps that will take us from children of God to adults of God are even more important this year.

They are ...Wake Up ... Wise Up ... Grow Up ... Show Up.

First step, Wake Up Laughing.  As the ancient Foo Ling Masters who achieved Cosmic Comic Consciousness came to realize, life is a joke ... but God is laughing with us, not at us.  The Creator is watching the Comedy Channel, and WE are what's on.  Yes, the world is in serious condition - largely because of our conditioning to be serious.  So instead of having gravity bring us down, we can choose to have levity lift us up.  Hearty laughter makes us go completely out of our head, and puts us right in the heart.  And that brings us to Step Two.

Second step, Wise Up Loving.  To counterbalance all the challenges of being human, we were given the power of love, the universal solvent.  You have a problem?  Dissolve it in a warm solution of love.  Through the power of love, we can metabolize all the BS (Belief Systems) that we mistake for reality.  And the good news is, love is more powerful than fear.  How do I know?  You ever hear anyone singing, All You Need Is Fear?

Third step, Grow Up Giving.  Each of us has been given a special gift just for entering - so you are already a winner!  We are the Creator's creation created to create, so what are we waiting for?  Time to give all we were given to give ...  before we give out.  The more of our gifts we give, the more we grow upward.  So if you're spiritually upwardly mobile, here is my suggestion.  Make a "bucket list" of all the undertakings you wish to undertake before being overtaken by the undertaker.  And then undertake ... and over-give, and you can't grow wrong.

And finally, Show Up Living.  Show up for the Greatest Show On Earth ... it's better than reality TV ... it's REALITY!  A once-in-a-lifetime world win adventure show, where the whole world can win.  It's the Hero's Journey with One Big Hero ... the Human Race.

I've said it before, and it certainly applies now.  If you don't like the current programming, turn off your TV and tell-a-vision instead.  So, I will tell my vision.  I see it now.  The Timeless Times headline that reads:  "How Did The Human Race Turn Out?  They WON.  They Achieved Oneness and Won."

¬©Copyright 2013 Steve Bhaerman.  All rights reserved.  Look for Swami Beyondananda on line at www.wakeuplaughing.com

 

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

Swami's State of the Universe 2012

 

2012:  One Small Step For the Mayan Calendar ...

A Quantum Leap Year For Humankind

 

By Swami Beyondananda

 

I just got back from hyperspace, so forgive me if I'm a bit hyper-spacey!

 

I am clear about one thing, though, and that's the state of the Universe.  The Universe - God bless it - is in tip-top shape, especially considering its age.  We should all look this good when we're 13 billion going on 14 billion.

 

Once again, the Universe remains ever-changing, same as always, purring in perfection.  You'd think that at that age, the Universe would be slowing down, but no - it's still expanding.  I predict it won't be long before they have to let the photon belt out another notch.

 

Meanwhile, back here on earth, the human comedy has been renewed for yet another season.  Maybe 2012 will be the year a critical mass of the heretofore-uncritical masses wake up and hear the laugh track. 

 

That's right, the laugh track.  In these serious times when there's definitely something funny going on, laughter is key.  You laugh, and I say, "Fabulous.  You're off to a good start. "

 

Last year's laugh track should have you on track for even more laughs this year, because 2011 was a funny year - although maybe not ha-ha funny.

 

For one thing, the Rapture didn't happen last May as predicted, thank God.  Sure, those who hoped to live happily ever rapture were a little disappointed, but hey - it's not the end of the world, right?

 

Then another funny thing happened.  We found the bank bailout cost us $7.7 trillion, but as an optimystic, I have found an upside to the downside.  Good thing the dollar isn't worth much these days, otherwise that would have REALLY been a disaster.

 

In other economic news in 2011, for the fourth straight year the Moody's Investor Report indicated that investors are moody and getting moodier.  Fortunately, we've been gearing up for an election year, a great opportunity for folks to vent their frustration.  Maybe after enough out-venting, we'll have the clarity to invent for a change, but meanwhile ...

 

In the wake of the first slew of Republican debates filled with detestimonials and insinuendoes, one blogger compared the spectacle to professional wrestling.  Boy, you should have seen all the angry letters he got.  Guess he didn't realize how many pro wrestling fans are out there.  Then there was the Republican debate in South Carolina, where the audience actually booed the Golden Rule.  If anyone doubts the Republicans' Southern strategy has paid off, here is irrefutable proof that the party of Lincoln has gone south.

 

And to those who say there's no difference between the two parties, I must differ.  The Republicans bend over backwards to service the banksters and special interests.  The Democrats are exactly the opposite.  They bend over forward.

 

Yes, America has been divided into two rival tribes, the red tribe Republicans and the blue tribe Democrats, who spend way too much energy arguing about whether it's worse to kill the born, or the unborn - instead of working together to improve the world the yet-to-be-born are born into. 

 

I know, I know.  I am proposing a sane world.  I must be crazy, right?

 

Which is why we the people must build our own sane asylum, and commit ourselves to living there.  How?

 

I knew I was going to ask that question.

 

We must gather red tribe and blue tribe together in sacred circles, to talk until they are purple in the face - so we the people can gather around the heart-core values we have in common. If we stand together as One Purple People, we the peeps will overcome the perps, and the sociopathogens plaguing the body politic will be rendered harmless.

 

And peeps, the perps have another purpose.  They remind us that all peeps have a little perp inside them, and when peeps get a peep at their own true purpose, there is no need to perp.

 

So, how do we turn the funk into function, and leave the junk at the junction?  Read on.

 

Occupy the Heart and Create Heartland Security

 

A bright spot appeared on the horizon in 2011, thanks to the Occupy Wall Street movement, which reminded us that Wall Street has been occupying Main Street for generations.  While middle-class Americans were preoccupied with family values, gold collar criminals with Soprano Family values like Bernie Madoff made off with large chunks of the commonwealth.  No wonder there's disheartenment in the heartland! The Occupy movement broke this issue through the soundless barrier, and Americans from across the political spectrum have been waking up left and right.  In 2011, leaders from both awakening wings - Sen. Bernie Sanders on the left, Rep. Ron Paul on the right - called for auditing the Fed.  Others in the Occupy movement have gone even further, suggested auditing the overfed, but that"s another story.

 

One thing is for sure.  As the upwising picks up esteem in 2012, there will be plenty of residoodoo to metabolize.  Which is why, as things come to a head it becomes more important than ever that they come to a heart as well.

 

Because when it comes to healing our lives - or the world - the heart of the matter is the matter of the heart.  The heartless minds that value money over all else have tried to convince us that their inhuman nature is our human nature.  I say if we want the Golden Rule to overrule the rule of gold, we have to embody the heart core values of truth, beauty and goodness. 

 

Instead of buying into the fear-based Homeland Security, we must invest in Heartland Security - because our true security is in the land of the heart.  In the head, we have beliefs that separate us, and what people believe - believe me - is unbelievable.  That's why we must leave the static of the head for the ecstatic of the heart.  The more we expand our hearts, the less we will need to shrink our heads.

 

It's great that the Occupy movement has begun to re-hearten a disheartened heartland.  But before we become preoccupied with the usual head-trips, we must occupy our own hearts.  And the best way to do this - seriously - is with heart-opening laughter.

 

Swami's Four-Fold Path to Cosmic Comic Consciousness

 

As we begin this quantum leap year, I know many of you reading this would love to uplift humanity.  That would be a quantum leap indeed, so let me recommend the first small step to uplifting humankind.  Ready?  Begin by uplifting your own face.  Allow the levitational pull to uplift the corners of your mouth in a smile, and you will trick yourself into believing you are happy.  This is called Cosmic Comic Consciousness, and yes - it is contagious.

 

Instead of buying into the notion that happiness is something we need to pursue out there, let's laugh at the cosmic joke:  Happiness has been right here all along, patiently waiting for us.  Ha-ha-ha.

 

Now of course, simply being happy is far too simple, isn't it?  So for those who still feel the need to "do" something to be happy, I have devised a simple four-step program - that should, simply by simple arithmetic - work three times faster than those 12-step programs.  Ready?  Here it is:

 

Step One.  Wake Up Laughing.  As we wise up to the gravity, we must rise up with the levity.  Not only does levity help us rise above whatever has been bringing us down, it shows us a higher perspective.  When we wake up laughing, there is an awakening.  In the wake of the ha-ha, there's an "aha."  And after the aha, there's an "aaaahhhhhh ..." and just like that, hearty laughter lifts us out of our head, and puts us squarely in the heart.

 

Step Two.  Wise Up Loving.  As the Wisest Guys have been telling us for millennia, we are all one with the same One, and the purpose of life is thrival for all.  Love is the currency in the new eco-logical economy because the more we spend, the more we have!  And having it is simple.  All we have to do is open our blinds, and let it in.

 

Here is the inescapable truth:  Love has us surrounded.  We might as well surrender.

 

That's right - give up the fight, and surrender to Love.  Listen, if Love is good enough for Jesus, Buddha and Beatles, it's good enough for me!

 

Step Three.  Grow Up Giving.  If we want to overgrow the current dysfunction at the junction, WE - each of us, and all of us - must grow upward, evolving from children of God to adults of Good.  Now while few of us have actually seen God, we have all seen Good.  Goodness gracious, goodness is good!  For millennia, children of God have been waiting for a messiah to fix this fixer-upper of a world.  And now adults of Good have realized the messiah is a do-it-yourself job, and the party of life is strictly BYOB ... Be Your Own Buddha.

 

Step Four.  Show Up Living.   As the gospel of FUNdamentalism (accent on FUN) teaches, we are not here to earn God's love - we're here to spend it!  And how you spend it depends on what you love to do.  Make a "bucket list" of all the undertakings you wish to undertake before being overtaken by the undertaker.  Then start doing them.  They say an unexamined life is not worth living, but it's even truer that an unlived life is not worth examining.  So ... turn off your TV and tell a vision instead.  The evolution will not be televised.  It's happening out here, and it's even more real than reality TV ... it's called REALITY!

 

Finally, as I bring this address to a close, I call on you to improve the state of your corner of the Universe and take a vow of levity.  I am serious.  We humans will never find our center of gravity until we find our center of levity.  So, all those who wish to take a vow of levity - PLEASE RISE.

 

Repeat after me.  "All for fun ... and fun for all!"

 

And may we laugh, laugh, laugh till the sacred cows come home.

¬©  Copyright 2012 by Steve Bhaerman.  All rights reserved.

 

Swami Beyondananda is the cosmic comic alter ego of writer Steve Bhaerman, and can be found online at http://www.wakeuplaughing.com/.  Interested in booking Swami for a personal appearance?  Contact his office at (707) 888-7260.

 

Watch Video Highlights of The State of the Universe 2012 here.

 

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Swamis 2011 State of the Universe Address


The Shift Has Hit the Fan

And All Heaven Has Broken Loose


By Swami Beyondananda



The shift has hit the fan. And all heaven has broken loose.

You say, Heaven?? Where the hell do you see heaven?

And yes. If you look at the news headlines from the past year, youd have a hell of a time finding any heaven. Its a dogma-eat-dogma world out there, and everyone seems caught up in the bipolar insanity. Even Poland is polarized the North Poles and the South Poles. We talk about peace in the Middle East and we cant even make peace in the Middle West. Here in America, we have a deeply divided body politic. Half the population believes our election system is broken. The other half believes it is fixed.

In 2010, political anger became all the rage, as town hall meetings turned into I scream anti-socials, and enlightened discourse into heated detestimonials. The Tea Party Movement, a coalition of civil libertarians and uncivil libertarians, provided an ideal cover for mining interests (as in, thats mine thats mine thats mine) to throw barrels of anonymous money into Congressional races to defeat Democratic candidates.

Of course we all know that when it comes to defeating Democratic candidates, no one does it better than the Democrats themselves. In the area of self-defeat, the Democrats are simply unbeatable. Somehow, in just two years they turned a mandate into a man-who-cant-get-a-date.


A Wolfowitz in Sheepowitzs Clothing?


There is one prime cause of disillusionment, and that is illusionment. And in these challenging times, its understandable how a population can get strung out on hopium. America has been going through a dark night, and who wouldnt want a white knight on a dark night albeit a slightly darker white knight?

But a lad and a lack. So far, our lad seems to lack the will or the power to stand up to the forces of endarkened self-interest. Barack Obamas neo-liberal foreign policy looks pretty much like George Bushs neoconservative one, and disheartened progressives who believed in Obamas election rhetoric are beginning to think they fell for the old debate and switch, and we ended up with a Wolfowitz in sheepowitzs clothing.

On the other hand, how can we expect a President to stand tall, when the body politic is so sickly and out of shape? After all, were still suffering from the lingering effects of Mad Cowboy Disease and chronic electile dysfunction, not to mention irony deficiency and truth decay brought on by weapons of mass distraction. And lets not forget the Deficit Inattention Disorder that led to our near-debt experience.


American Middle Class Tops Endangered Species List


To add injury to insult, the American middle class continued to top the Endangered Species List, caught between the lowly criminal at the bottom, and the highly criminal at the top. Maybe Im old fashioned, but Im nostalgic for the good old days when people robbed banks. Once again in 2010, Chase chased us, Wachovia walked over us, and the name Goldman Sachs tells us all we need to know: We have been sacked by the gold men. Gold-collar criminals have overruled the Golden Rule with the Gold Rules Rule: Doo-doo unto others before they can doo-doo unto you.

And lets be honest. Not just the people at the top, but everyone seemed to buy into the boom that could never go bust. And then BOOM! The bubble popped, and just like that, were busted. So, the moral is: Dont put your faith in false profits.

Sadly, the financial fleecing didnt awaken the body politic, but it was harder to sleep through the alarming oil spill in the Gulf last spring. So perhaps it takes a pillage AND a spillage to wake the village to stop the drillage and wildlife killage.

The upwising continued to gather esteem in 2010, and the irony curtain is becoming more and more transparent. Wikileaks emerged to challenge our official media, Weaky-Licks, to help end the other dont ask, dont tell policy thats where the American people promise not to ask what the government is doing to keep them safe, and the government promises not to tell them. When the people choose to not see what is too uncomfortable to look at, the inevitable result is Not-Seeism.


Time to Gather Under One Big Intent


But enough about our small world down here. This is, after all, the State of the Universe, and theres a big, big Universe out there, which is pretty much purring in perfection. Which is to say there is a hell of lot of heaven out there.

So, you are asking, why the hell isnt heaven here, already? Everything seems to be crashing down, and heaven is nowhere to be found!

As a cautious optimystic, I say that contrary to the way things appear, the sky is not falling. It only looks that way because we are ascending. Yes, thanks to the evolutionary upwising and the recently declared state of emerge n see (where we emerge from fear and separation and see how we are connected), we humans are better able to rise to the occasion than ever before. And when it comes to rising above whatever has been bringing us down, nothing works like levity.

Now I certainly would never want to impose my spiritual faith on anyone else, but I must declare that I am a FUNdamentalist, accent on the FUN. While some of the less fun fundamentalists believe that heaven is above us, we FUNdamentalists believe that heaven is where we make it. FUNdamentalists are strictly non-dominational, so we have no commandments. But we do have One Suggestion: Lets go for heaven on earth, just for the hell of it!

OK, you protest, thats the ideal, but how do we deal with the real deal?

Its simple, although it may not be easy. If the uncommonly wealthy have hijacked the commonwealth, we the people must higher-jack it. And we do so by acting on another FUNdamentalist suggestion: Were not here to earn Gods love, were here to spend it!

That is how heaven is breaking loose, with people spending their love like its going into style. Think about it. Someone comes into a room overflowing with love, and 300 people leave with that love and pay it forward somewhere else. Love, joy and laughter they are the loaves and fishes of spiritual nourishment. Yes, heaven has broken loose and we are here to put it together. Each of us if we so choose brings a piece of heaven. You have a little piece here, a little piece there, and before long, you have one big peace everywhere.

So now is the time for all those heaven-bent on planetary transformation to gather under one big intent that reflects the heart core values shared by humans the world over: We are here to re-grow the Garden, and have a heaven of a time doing it.

And when the cosmic beings ask, Oh, by the way, how did the human race turn out? the answer will be, They won. They achieved Oneness and won. This is the true second coming. The human drama achieves a pleasurable climax, as everyone comes together.

Copyright 2011 Steve Bhaerman. All rights reserved. Swami Beyondananda is the cosmic comic alter ego of Steve Bhaerman, and can be found online at http://www.wakeuplaughing.com/ And seriously read Steves serious book with Bruce Lipton, Spontaneous Evolution: Our Positive Future and a Way to Get There From Here, available at http://www.wakeuplaughing.com/ along with some free bonus articles.
For reprint information, please contact info@wakeuplaughing.com





December 23, 2010

A Holiday Message
From Swami Beyondananda

And Everyone at Wake Up Laughing Productions




Dear Friends, Family, Co-Hearts,

We wish you a blessed holiday season
Filled with laughter and merriment,
And may your bliss spill over to 2011 and beyond.


And remember ... YOU are the gift.



Thanks to my friend Brian Narelle for his wonderful and whimsical illustration! http://www.narellecreative.net/

 


BeyondaNews December 13, 2010

Yes, Virginia There IS a Sanity Clause!

Gift the Gift of Laughter, and Move the Upwising Forward



FlyingSwamiSanta.jpgDear Friends:

What do we REALLY want this Holiday season?

A. More stuff to stuff in our Holiday stockings?

B. A happier, healthier, saner world?

Well, if you voted A, I have good news. You can click right here, https://www.wakeuplaughing.com/epistore and get some of the hilarious stocking-stuffer stuff the Swami is stocking.

If you voted for B, here is even better news. Five out of five leading humorologists agree that laughter helps restore happiness, health and sanity! A daily laughsitive has proven effective in relieving irregularhilarity, and has even shown promise in treating deep-seated jestive disorders like humorrhoids.

Your Friends and Family Are Pre-Qualified to Receive a Gift From the Swami!

The Swami tells us there are two kinds of people in this world. The kind that love to laugh, and the kind that need to. That makes everyone on your list pre-qualified to receive a gift from the Swami.

For the political folks on any side, all sides or no side you can choose the book Swami for Precedent: A 7-Step Plan to Heal the Body Politic and Cure Electile Dysfunction (still all-too-relevant six years after it was published). Or the Tickling the Body Politic DVD (The Natural Enquirer called it a kitschy, kitschy coup), or the Supreme Court Jester CD (if the person on your list is a Marxist, all the better. The cover features Harpo, Chico, Groucho and Karl).

How about those who are a bit woo-woo or even just woo? Swamis classic offering Dont Squeeze the Shaman is perfect. In addition to hearing the GURU Rap Song (Gee You Are You), they will finally discover why men have nipples.

Your scientist friends, who think that om is a measurement of resistance? Give them Beyondananda and Beyond, Steves talk on healing humor, followed by some cosmic comedy by the Swami.

How about those who love singing in the car and listening to the radio? Give them the karma driving tunes on Drive Your Karma, Curb Your Dogma, which also features Karma Talk, the State of the Universe Address, and Howard Cosell doing an infomercial for Swamis ultimate meditation tape.

Go here to order: https://www.wakeuplaughing.com/epistore 

And what if you cant make up your mind? No problem. We have two ridiculously inexpensive offers the Fool Enchilada Special, and the Healing Laughter Special. And wait theres more. Tell us who youre buying the gift for, and Swami will provide a personalized holiday gift card for each (upon receiving your order, we will ask for their names). Check out our specials here: https://www.wakeuplaughing.com/epistore/index.php?category=Package+Deals

And Seriously, Folks

OK, so laughter can help restore sanity. But if youre seriously considering committing our species to a sane asylum, then nothing works better than a new story, particularly a story worth living into. Spontaneous Evolution is now in paperback, so if you have friends who are ready for the most amazing adventure in human history, conscious evolution, invite them to join the upwising. We also have the Spontaneous Evolution, 5-CD set produced by Sounds True, and a special deal if you get them both. https://www.wakeuplaughing.com/epistore/index.php?category=Package+Deals

Act Now Strike While The Irony Is Hot!

If youd like these to get to you or your giftees by Christmas (or immediate-post-Hanukah), your order is best received by Friday, December 17th. Want to buy in larger quantities at a discount? Dont see the deal you want? Call us at (707) 888-7260 and place your order there. Oh, and if you want a peek at an evolutionary story in development, please check out the Transpartisan Upwising right here: http://transpartisan.us/



BeyondaNews Sep 28, 2010

1. Announcing Swamis Oslo to Jupiter Tour.
2. Swami and Steve Now Have a New Agent.

Announcing: Swamis Oslo to Jupiter Tour!

Wake Up Laughing, Wise Up Loving
From Oslo to Jupiter and Beyond!


A Two-Man One-Man Show
with author Steve Bhaerman
and Cosmic Comic Swami Beyondanand
a

To promote the Evolutionary Up-Wising and bring laughter and love to the heartland.



Dear Friends and Co-Hearts:

How far will Swami go to spread his message of healing laughter, love and wisdom? From Oslo to Jupiter and beyond!

Yes, this upcoming tour will not only take Swami and Steve to Oslo, Norway but to Jupiter as well. OK, its Jupiter, Florida, but still And the purpose of the tour is two-fold. First, its to raise the planetary laugh force by bringing laughter and love through Swamis comedy disguised as wisdom, and wisdom disguised as comedy. Secondly, its to spread the word about Spontaneous Evolution, Steves paradigm-busting book with Bruce Lipton. Along with book signings, talks and workshops on the topic, Steve will be looking for signs of human evolution wherever he goes.

You may already know of Steves work in the guise of Swami Beyondananda. Noted author Marianne Williamson has called him the Mark Twain of our generation because the comedy is not only hilariously funny, but also offers sharp social commentary and spiritual perspective.

However, theres another side to Swami. His alter ego Steve Bhaerman recently completed a book with cellular biologist Bruce Lipton (The Biology of Belief) that offers a truly heartening view of our evolutionary future based both on modern science and ancient wisdom. The book, Spontaneous Evolution: Our Positive Future and a Way to Get There From Here, has been called world-changing both by spiritual luminary Deepak Chopra and political commentator Thom Hartmann. Wake Up Laughing, Wise Up Loving is based on a key premise of Spontaneous Evolution that we are each and all cells in the body of a super-organism called Humanity, in the service of the web of life. And now, in a shrinking world that could use a good shrink, we manifest this evolution together by expanding awareness and community. This community celebration is designed to do both!

The evening begins with an inspiring and funny presentation by Steve Bhaerman designed to foment an evolutionary upwising.

Then the turban-powered Swami Beyondananda creates a field of hearty laughter and inspired celebration. Not only is the Swami a master of enlightening word play, he is the only guru who channels both Elvis and Bullwinkle. And he takes live questions from the audience. If you have an answerable question, the Swami will have a questionable answer for you!

And Swamis alter ego Steve will be there to sign copies of Spontaneous Evolution, as well as the Swamis classic book, Swami for Precedent: A 7-Step Plan to Heal the Body Politic and Cure Electile Dysfunction.

So far, we have nine cities on the tour, which begins in Oslo, Norway on Saturday, October 16th at the Fry og Gammen Festival at the Beitostolen Resort (no idea why Beito actually pilfered the resort, and hope he brings it back by the time we get there).


Other shows and dates:

  • Friday, October 22nd Charlottesville, Virginia
  • Sat.-Sun., Oct. 23rd-24th Virginia Beach, Virginia
  • Friday, October 29th Sarasota, Florida
  • Saturday, October 30th Jupiter, Florida
  • Tuesday, November 2nd Key West, Florida
  • Wednesday, November 3rd Marathon Key, Florida
  • Friday, November 5th Chattanooga, Tennessee
  • Sat.-Sun., Nov. 6th-7th Nashville, Tennessee


You can get the details here and follow Steves blog and get updates. If you would like to be an underwriter or sponsor for the tour, please email me at info@wakeuplaughing.com and write sponsor in the subject line, and we will tell you more. (Already a Wake Up Laughing e-book Co-Heart? You get a special deal.)

Tell all your friends, because when it comes to laughter, the more the merrier!

To learn more about the Swami and Steve, please visit us online at http://www.wakeuplaughing.com/ To find out how to bring this one-of-a-kind program to your community, please contact Trudy Trueheart at (707) 525-0778 or email her at trudytrueheart@gmail.com


Swami and Steve Have a New Booking Partner:
Fast Lane International


In further developments in moving the upwising forward, we are pleased to announce a working relationship with George Michallow and Fast Lane International, who will be booking Steve and Swami for festival, college and corporate events. George has represented reggae, alternative and other musical acts for over 25 years, and now is representing us because of his mission to present uplifting performers and presenters dedicated to helping humanity peacefully evolve. Thank you, George. Steve and Swami are pleased to join your rasta roster. If you would like to book Steve and / or Swami for a festival, college or corporate event, please contact George Michallow at:

Fast Lane International
4856 Haygood Road Suite 203
Virginia Beach, Virginia 23455
PH: 757-497-2669 FX: 757-497-5159
Info@FastLaneIntl.Com



BeyondaNews July 19, 2010

1. Mega Oops!
2. Swami Goes North Trip Report.
3. Fall Tour Falling Into Place.
4. Spontaneous Evolution / Notes From the Trail Special Offer!

Mega Oops


A not-so-funny thing happened on the way to my scheduled appearance as part of the Conscious Conversion
teleclass this past Sunday. I slept through it.

While some listening in may have thought I was channeling Swamis Ultimate Meditation CD (which is completely blank), actually I was caught up in my own dream world, blithely unaware of the earthly constrictions of time.

To explain further, I have a policy that I dont schedule anything on the day after returning from a trip. In this case -- because I so believe in the need for mass intentional meditations in these challenging times -- I agreed to be on this conference call the morning after returning home.

Well, the Universe had a different idea.

You can only imagine how mortified I was when I sauntered into my office at 9 a.m., and saw the email reminder that I was due to be on a call that had just ended. Dang! If only I had paid more attention in time travel class!

But a lad ... and a lack. There was a lack of this lad on the phone call, and I must humbly own up to the mega oops. In these kinds of situations, I look for two kinds of lessons: the lesson for me, and the one that will hopefully benefit others.

Upon reflection, a story came to mind that I heard many years ago. A guru in India called for his most trusted disciple. A tsunami wave will hit the village tomorrow at noon, the master said. Go warn everyone in the village to get to high ground, and they will be safe.

Dutifully, the disciple went through the village and warned every family. The next day, true to the prediction, the huge wave swept through the village. Everyone was saved. Everyone, that is, except the dutiful disciple. He had forgotten to heed his own message.

And so it was with me. While traveling, it became clear that the political transformation we seek can only come when we each build true connection with Spirit, so we have an unshakeable foundation whenever we are tempted by anger and blame, or disempowered by fear or hopelessness.

I had received the clear message that taking time out of time time -- i.e., a Sabbath -- was essential to maintain balance and connection, and the day after returning from a trip presented the perfect time to quietly reflect. But I pre-empted this pledge to participate in something I deemed truly useful ... and well, you know the rest.

So, I humbly apologize for my failure to convert my own consciousness for the Conscious Conversion call ... and hope it serves as a reminder for all of us to heed our own good advice! I will be participating with Common Passion in the near future, and in terms of being there, I quote the prophet Bullwinkle: THIS time for SURE!

Swami Goes North Trip Report



ORGcountryFair.jpgJust returned from points north, and in spite of the temporary disappearance of my energy field (this always happens when I enter Aura Gone), I am still smiling. Did we enjoy the Oregon Country Fair? Well, heres a picture worth at least 1,000 words ... thats Jocelyn Olivier, founder of Alive & Well Institute of Conscious Body Work, and Trudy in the back row, and (left to right) thats me, author / radio personality Wes Scoop Nisker, and the legendary Patch Adams. Believe me, my clown chakra is now completely open.

We had two fun and intimate evenings at Unity of Salem, and the Grants Pass Center for Spiritual Living, and our next appearance will be for the Sunday morning talk at San Francisco Unity on August 1st, where I will present on Spontaneous Evolution and Heartland Security.



Fall Tour Falling Into Place


Heres a question: How come people always say, Have a great spring, and Have a great summer, ... but no one ever says, Have a great fall? At least not since Humpty Dumpty. Anyway, looks like fans of cosmic comedy across the country will have a great autumn season, as our tours take us to Dallas-Ft. Worth, Austin, Nashville, Virginia Beach, Florida, Pittsburgh ... and Oslo, Norway. You say, Norway! and I say, Way! Swami better get out his Norweegie board in preparation. Details to follow.

And ... if you would like to book a fun(d) raiser featuring the Swami, a conference appearance, or an intimate evening of cosmic comedy, now is the time. If you or your organization are interested, just respond to this email with show in the subject line.


Special Offer: Spontaneous Evolution, and Notes From the Trail



For those of you who enjoy Notes From the Trail, and havent yet become a paid subscriber, here is our current offer: Subscribe now for $33, and get an autographed hardbound edition of Spontaneous Evolution: Our Positive Future and a Way to Get There From Here. (a $31 value!) Its a no-lose opportunity. If the book becomes really famous, youll have a famous autograph. If not, youll have a rare book! Offer is limited through July 31, 2010, or while supplies last.

Seriously, the book is doing well, and is set for the next edition due out in September. Meanwhile, its been translated into several languages, and has appeared or will very soon appear in German, Spanish, French, Portugese, and in editions in Czechoslovakia, Slovenia, Poland, Latin America and China.

As for Notes From the Trail, we are in the process of setting up a proper blog page, which will soon include a weekly State of the Universe Report video from the Swami. As always, Notes From the Trail is available free of charge ... and your financial support enables us to do so!

Become a paid subscriber, sponsor or super-sidizer here

Or sign on to receive our Notes communiques here.


 

June 21, 2010

 

1. Message From Swami: It Takes a Pillage and a Spillage to Wake the Village and Stop the Drillage.

2. Seriously Folks, Isn't It Time for Heartland Security?


It Takes a Pillage and a Spillage to
Wake the Village and Stop the Drillage


A Message From Swami Beyondananda


Dear Swami:

The whole world is shocked and saddened by the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico, and I for one am hoping that there is some redeeming benefit in this ecological horror. Since you tend to have a positive perspective, can you find something positive to say about this disaster? Is there some way humanity can deal with this cataclysm?

Ollie Volving,
Grimstad, Norway



Dear Ollie:

It is indeed challenging to say something positive about this disaster, but here goes: I am positive this is aBP_logo_NARELLEbn.jpg disaster. With all the technical fixes broken, there's no telling how long BP will be peeing into the Gulf.

You know, it doesn't seem to matter how alarming the alarm is, we humans tend to want to hit snooze. But it's getting harder to snooze through the news. Take the economic meltdown -- please! While Americans felt the pain, and older folks waxed nostalgic about the good old days, when people robbed banks instead of the other way around, in the end most folks watched passively as our commonwealth got pillaged by the uncommonly wealthy.

But if a pillage alone doesn't awaken the village, then maybe a pillage AND a spillage will do it. And now that Obama has presented BP with a $20 billion invoice, maybe it takes a billage to stop the drillage.

But here is the problem. We humans are so used to fighting amongst ourselves (and that includes all of us, folks ... that's why I know that a sign that Nonjudgment Day is near is when all the peace groups make peace with one another), that we haven't yet learned to speak in one voice to say, "Stop the pillage, the spillage and the drillage ... we are poisoning our global village!"

And ... more importantly ... in that same unified voice, declare the One Suggestion as the new planetary operating system: "We are here to re-grow the Garden, and have a heaven of a time doing it."

If we really want to overgrow the current system ruled by fossilized fools fueled by fossil fuels, we have to address that other spillage of crude that has polluted our body politic: The igno-rants of media motor mouths, particularly those on Fox "News" who have turned their lie-ability into an asset. If only the Evangelicals were into metaphysics ... they would see that F-O-X is 6-6-6 in numerology.

However, spewing more crude back is no way to bring fear-fed red tribe "conservatives" out of their Fox holes. And that brings me to the one sure antidote to cataclysm. Dogaclysm.

For millennia our spiritual teachers have been telling us to treat one another like brothers and sisters. And we see how well that has worked. Because, let's face it. How did we treat our brothers and sisters? We fought with them. We were jealous. We thought, "Mommy likes you better." Or, "Mommy likes me better, so nyah nyah, nyah!"

But what happened when a new puppy came into the household? Everyone stopped fighting and began petting the puppy together. And that's what we need today. Puppy love. Instead of treating one another like brothers and sisters, let's begin to treat each other like lovable puppies, and begin to feel the love. Did you know that when you come in contact with a friendly dog, your body secretes healthy hormones called puptides? And no wonder. Dogs are so filled with unconditional love, it's literally dripping over the sides of their mouths. Maybe the secret to world peace is empowering an elite corps of golden retrievers, beagles and spaniels to anoint all negotiators with their kisses before, during and after their sessions. Imagine ... the Salivation Army.

And so ... nature has presented us with a cataclysm, and we must respond with a dogaclysm -- a tsunami wave of love so doggone powerful that the agents of pillage, spillage and drillage will have no choice but to obey the Master and sit ... stay ... and roll over.

The above funny / sad illustration is by Brian Narelle
http://www.narellecreative.net/



Seriously, Folks ...
Isn't It Time for a Department of Heartland Security
?

As people watch this current ecological disaster unfold, and wonder if there is any upside to the downer, I think of what co-heart and storyteller David Lynn Grimes said at Caroline Casey's Trickster Training Tea Party this past weekend: "The oil spill is a sentient act of Mother Earth to wake us up."

David was on the scene 21 years ago when the Exxon-Valdez spewed its spillage on the Prince William Sound, and saw firsthand the precursor to this current curse. However awful the situation, there was an unplanned upside. "They were all set to clear-cut the Alaskan forest ... and the oil spill stopped the development," he says.

So, here is my hope and my prayer. May this disaster be the pre-blesser to a truly new world order that establishes itself as a stand for a new Humanity with the mission of re-growing the Garden. May we cohere as a species around uncommon common sense and the virtues and values the vast majority of us hold in common. May we use our polarities as a dynamo to evolve in a spiral instead of going around in circles.

Think it's impossible to gather that kind of energy?

Consider this. In 2008, the Obama campaign raised half a billion dollars in individual contributions. What exactly did that buy us? True, we don't have McCain-Palin ruling the roost ... but considering that a victory is like going to the race track to bet a bundle and saying, "Gee, I hope I break even."

In this world in crisis, and world of opportunity, there is no breaking even. We either break through, or we break down. Right now, we seem to be breaking down ... and are ripe for a breakthrough.

And that is why I am rolling up a lifetime of experience -- in political science, psychology, spirituality and of course, humor -- into a mission to launch a Department of Heartland Security as a non-governmental, non-coercive non-organization to activate the heart and soul of we the people. Our intention is to gather around the Heart to heal the Land, and provide us with the Security that comes from respecting the individual in the context of community.

More specifically ...

Heart represents our universal spiritual foundation, the vast and untapped resource of love and connection.

Land represents a restorative, sustainable economy that empowers a mutually beneficial partnership between human and biosphere.

Security represents our evolution from the single cell "every-cell-for-itself" philosophy to the multi-cell "we're-all-in-this-together." In doing so, we move from survival of the fittest to thrival of the fittingest, from mutually-assured destruction to mutually-insured survival.

If this trips your trigger, and you're ready to help turn the ideal into the real-deal, please respond to this email with "Heartland" in the subject field. There are many, many ways you can participate. As Caroline Casey would say, "Co-operators are standing by."

And ... if you like these kinds of messages, and you don't already subscribe to Notes From the Trail, subscribe here. It's free. However, we cheerfully encourage donations. You can become an official paid subscriber for just $33, or you can subsidize or even super-sidize Notes From the Trail by donating even more.


And ... you can donate any amount, large or small via Paypal. Send money to: swamib@saber.net.

Also... If you would like to answer Swami's brief questionnaire and possibly win a prize, please send an email to info@wakeuplaughing.com and put "Answer" in the subject line.


May we wake up, and wise up.

The evolution has begun!

Steve Bhaerman

  Copyright 2010 by Steve Bhaerman. All rights reserved.



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