State of the Universe Address
UNIVERSE'S MESSAGE TO HUMANITY:
Time to Shift or Get Off the Pot
"Start the world - I
want to get ON!"
Well, the world
didn't end on December 22, 2012. Talk about an anti-climax. The
shift of the ages happened seamlessly, as the Creator hit Re-Start and the Show
got renewed for another 26,000 years.
don't know about you, but I'm inspired. I'm like, "Start the world - I
want to get ON!"
let's just say the rapture happened and we all got born again without
reincarnating. In other words, the shift has hit the fan. And if
you're not a fan of shifting now, you will be soon. The planets and stars
have done their part. Now it's time for humanity to shift our karma out
of reverse and get our assets in gear.
probably don't get the Timeless Times where you live, but beings from across
the Universe are rooting for us. Last month, their headline was, "We're
Betting On the Human Race."
know this because I just got back from a trans-universal tour seeking the Key
to the Universe (turns out, it's been left unlocked so the joke was on me) and
I come bearing a Universal message for humanity: It's time to shift
or get off the pot.
stay on the pot if you need pot to shift you. Whatever it
time for us to use our intelligence intelligently, and begin thinking like a
species - because in terms of global footprint, call us Bigfoot. And
given our big global footprint, we must develop a big global brain and even
bigger global heart to weave us back into the web of life. We don't want
to flunk third dimension, do we?
if we are - as evolutionary biology is now telling us - all cells in the body
of a super-organism called Humanity, it's time we gather all good intentions
under One Big Intent: Thrival for all.
know, I know. I am proposing a sane world. I must be
I'm not the only one. More and more humans are going sane, and committing
themselves to turning the world into one big sane asylum. People are
waking up and wising up, and the good news is the "evolutionary upwising"
gathered esteem in 2012.
the Presidential campaign - please!
sharp repudiation of the conventional belief that there's no such thing as a
moderate Republican, the people of the United States thumbed their nose at
convention and actually elected one President. So there! No longer
high on hopium, a more sober body politic made what they saw was the better
choice - positive change in small increments, as opposed to negative change in
Speaking of which,
the never-ending war on terror ("We're going to win the war to end all wars,
even if it takes us forever!") went droning on in 2012, and we now have
space-age wind-up toys doing our assassinations for us. As for success,
it's been hit-and-miss, mostly hit. Because even when they miss, they
still hit something, right?
and in 2012 the climate over climate change got heated up, as reality-deniers
faced off against ... well, reality. So, is climate change real?
Well, I'll put it this way. I just came back from a terrific vacation in
the future. Spent a glorious week in Tropicanada.
the gun debate has had everybody up in arms. Listen, every child in
America should be taught the appropriate use of arms as soon as they have arms
to raise - hugging. Hug first, ask questions later. Come up with
your hands out!
that doesn't isolate the sociopathogens, I don't know what will.
Join the UPwising - Wake UP, Wise UP,
Grow UP, Show UP
Here's some good
news. Now is the perfect time to make the shift, and I will tell you
why. Because it's too late to do it sooner, that's why. I'll put it
bluntly. If we humans don't begin rowing together in the same direction, we're
going to be up shift creek without a paddle.
as you know, there are two kinds of mystics in the world - the optimystics and
the pessimystics. The pessimystics tell us "the sky is falling!"
The optimystics say, "No ... it only looks that way, because WE are
Personally, I am an
optimystic realist. While many look at the world situation and declare
the glass 95% empty, I take the opposite position. To me, it's 5%
yes, we have an uphill journey. But otherwise, it's all
there are those who say a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single
step, while others swear by the 12-step. I present here a compromise -
four simple steps to make sure we step out in the right direction,
mathematically guaranteed to work three times faster than 12-step.
if you remember I presented the same four-step program in last year's State of
the Universe. Please forgive me for serving up laughed-overs, but these
four steps that will take us from children of God to adults of God are even
more important this year.
are ...Wake Up ... Wise Up ... Grow Up ... Show Up.
Wake Up Laughing. As the ancient Foo Ling Masters who
achieved Cosmic Comic Consciousness came to realize, life is a joke ... but God
is laughing with us, not at us. The Creator is watching the Comedy
Channel, and WE are what's on. Yes, the world is in serious condition -
largely because of our conditioning to be serious. So instead of having
gravity bring us down, we can choose to have levity lift us up. Hearty
laughter makes us go completely out of our head, and puts us right in the
heart. And that brings us to Step Two.
Wise Up Loving. To counterbalance all the challenges of
being human, we were given the power of love, the universal solvent. You
have a problem? Dissolve it in a warm solution of love. Through the
power of love, we can metabolize all the BS (Belief Systems) that we mistake
for reality. And the good news is, love is more powerful than fear.
How do I know? You ever hear anyone singing, All You Need Is
Grow Up Giving. Each of us has been given a special gift
just for entering - so you are already a winner! We are the Creator's
creation created to create, so what are we waiting for? Time to give all
we were given to give ... before we give out. The more of our gifts
we give, the more we grow upward. So if you're spiritually upwardly
mobile, here is my suggestion. Make a "bucket list" of all the
undertakings you wish to undertake before being overtaken by the
undertaker. And then undertake ... and over-give, and you can't grow
finally, Show Up Living. Show up for the Greatest Show
On Earth ... it's better than reality TV ... it's REALITY! A
once-in-a-lifetime world win adventure show, where the whole world can
win. It's the Hero's Journey with One Big Hero ... the Human
said it before, and it certainly applies now. If you don't like the
current programming, turn off your TV and tell-a-vision instead. So, I
will tell my vision. I see it now. The Timeless Times headline that
reads: "How Did The Human Race Turn Out? They WON. They
Achieved Oneness and Won."
Steve Bhaerman. All rights reserved. Look for Swami Beyondananda on
line at www.wakeuplaughing.com
Swami's State of the Universe
2012: One Small Step For the Mayan
Quantum Leap Year For Humankind
I just got back from hyperspace, so forgive me if I'm a bit
I am clear about one thing, though, and that's the state of the
Universe. The Universe - God bless it - is in tip-top shape, especially
considering its age. We should all look this good when we're 13 billion
going on 14 billion.
Once again, the Universe remains ever-changing, same as always, purring in
perfection. You'd think that at that age, the Universe would be slowing
down, but no - it's still expanding. I predict it won't be long before
they have to let the photon belt out another notch.
Meanwhile, back here on earth, the human comedy has been renewed for yet
another season. Maybe 2012 will be the year a critical mass of the
heretofore-uncritical masses wake up and hear the laugh track.
That's right, the laugh track. In these serious times when there's
definitely something funny going on, laughter is key. You laugh, and I
say, "Fabulous. You're off to a good start. "
Last year's laugh track should have you on track for even more laughs this
year, because 2011 was a funny year - although maybe not ha-ha funny.
For one thing, the Rapture didn't happen last May as predicted, thank
God. Sure, those who hoped to live happily ever rapture were a little
disappointed, but hey - it's not the end of the world, right?
Then another funny thing happened. We found the bank bailout cost us
$7.7 trillion, but as an optimystic, I have found an upside to the
downside. Good thing the dollar isn't worth much these days, otherwise
that would have REALLY been a disaster.
In other economic news in 2011, for the fourth straight year the Moody's
Investor Report indicated that investors are moody and getting moodier.
Fortunately, we've been gearing up for an election year, a great opportunity
for folks to vent their frustration. Maybe after enough out-venting,
we'll have the clarity to invent for a change, but meanwhile ...
In the wake of the first slew of Republican debates filled with
detestimonials and insinuendoes, one blogger compared the spectacle to
professional wrestling. Boy, you should have seen all the angry letters
he got. Guess he didn't realize how many pro wrestling fans are out
there. Then there was the Republican debate in South Carolina, where the
audience actually booed the Golden Rule. If anyone doubts the
Republicans' Southern strategy has paid off, here is irrefutable proof that the
party of Lincoln has gone south.
And to those who say there's no difference between the two parties, I must
differ. The Republicans bend over backwards to service the banksters and
special interests. The Democrats are exactly the opposite. They
bend over forward.
Yes, America has been divided into two rival tribes, the red tribe
Republicans and the blue tribe Democrats, who spend way too much energy arguing
about whether it's worse to kill the born, or the unborn - instead of working
together to improve the world the yet-to-be-born are born into.
I know, I know. I am proposing a sane world. I must be crazy,
Which is why we the people must build our own sane asylum, and commit
ourselves to living there. How?
I knew I was going to ask that question.
We must gather red tribe and blue tribe together in sacred circles, to talk
until they are purple in the face - so we the people can gather around the
heart-core values we have in common. If we stand together as One Purple People,
we the peeps will overcome the perps, and the sociopathogens plaguing the body
politic will be rendered harmless.
And peeps, the perps have another purpose. They remind us that all
peeps have a little perp inside them, and when peeps get a peep at their own
true purpose, there is no need to perp.
So, how do we turn the funk into function, and leave the junk at the
junction? Read on.
Occupy the Heart and Create Heartland
A bright spot appeared on the horizon in 2011, thanks to the Occupy Wall
Street movement, which reminded us that Wall Street has been occupying Main
Street for generations. While middle-class Americans were preoccupied
with family values, gold collar criminals with Soprano Family values like
Bernie Madoff made off with large chunks of the commonwealth. No wonder
there's disheartenment in the heartland! The Occupy movement broke this issue
through the soundless barrier, and Americans from across the political spectrum
have been waking up left and right. In 2011, leaders from both awakening
wings - Sen. Bernie Sanders on the left, Rep. Ron Paul on the right - called
for auditing the Fed. Others in the Occupy movement have gone even
further, suggested auditing the overfed, but that"s another story.
One thing is for sure. As the upwising picks up esteem in 2012, there
will be plenty of residoodoo to metabolize. Which is why, as things come
to a head it becomes more important than ever that they come to a heart as
Because when it comes to healing our lives - or the world - the heart of the
matter is the matter of the heart. The heartless minds that value money
over all else have tried to convince us that their inhuman nature is our human
nature. I say if we want the Golden Rule to overrule the rule of gold, we
have to embody the heart core values of truth, beauty and goodness.
Instead of buying into the fear-based Homeland Security, we must invest in
Heartland Security - because our true security is in the land of the
heart. In the head, we have beliefs that separate us, and what people
believe - believe me - is unbelievable. That's why we must leave the
static of the head for the ecstatic of the heart. The more we expand our
hearts, the less we will need to shrink our heads.
It's great that the Occupy movement has begun to re-hearten a disheartened
heartland. But before we become preoccupied with the usual head-trips, we
must occupy our own hearts. And the best way to do this - seriously - is
with heart-opening laughter.
Swami's Four-Fold Path to Cosmic Comic
As we begin this quantum leap year, I know many of you reading this would
love to uplift humanity. That would be a quantum leap indeed, so let me
recommend the first small step to uplifting humankind. Ready? Begin
by uplifting your own face. Allow the levitational pull to uplift the
corners of your mouth in a smile, and you will trick yourself into believing
you are happy. This is called Cosmic Comic Consciousness, and yes - it is
Instead of buying into the notion that happiness is something we need to
pursue out there, let's laugh at the cosmic joke: Happiness has been
right here all along, patiently waiting for us. Ha-ha-ha.
Now of course, simply being happy is far too simple, isn't it? So for
those who still feel the need to "do" something to be happy, I have devised a
simple four-step program - that should, simply by simple arithmetic - work
three times faster than those 12-step programs. Ready? Here it
Step One. Wake Up Laughing. As we wise up to
the gravity, we must rise up with the levity. Not only does levity help
us rise above whatever has been bringing us down, it shows us a higher
perspective. When we wake up laughing, there is an awakening. In
the wake of the ha-ha, there's an "aha." And after the aha, there's an
"aaaahhhhhh ..." and just like that, hearty laughter lifts us out of our head,
and puts us squarely in the heart.
Step Two. Wise Up Loving. As the Wisest Guys
have been telling us for millennia, we are all one with the same One, and the
purpose of life is thrival for all. Love is the currency in the new
eco-logical economy because the more we spend, the more we have! And
having it is simple. All we have to do is open our blinds, and let it
Here is the inescapable truth: Love has us surrounded. We might
as well surrender.
That's right - give up the fight, and surrender to Love. Listen, if
Love is good enough for Jesus, Buddha and Beatles, it's good enough for me!
Step Three. Grow Up Giving. If we want to
overgrow the current dysfunction at the junction, WE - each of us, and all of
us - must grow upward, evolving from children of God to adults of Good.
Now while few of us have actually seen God, we have all seen Good.
Goodness gracious, goodness is good! For millennia, children of God have
been waiting for a messiah to fix this fixer-upper of a world. And now
adults of Good have realized the messiah is a do-it-yourself job, and the party
of life is strictly BYOB ... Be Your Own Buddha.
Step Four. Show Up Living. As the gospel
of FUNdamentalism (accent on FUN) teaches, we are not here to earn God's love -
we're here to spend it! And how you spend it depends on what you love to
do. Make a "bucket list" of all the undertakings you wish to undertake
before being overtaken by the undertaker. Then start doing them.
They say an unexamined life is not worth living, but it's even truer that an
unlived life is not worth examining. So ... turn off your TV and tell a
vision instead. The evolution will not be televised. It's happening
out here, and it's even more real than reality TV ... it's called REALITY!
Finally, as I bring this address to a close, I call on you to improve the
state of your corner of the Universe and take a vow of levity. I am
serious. We humans will never find our center of gravity until we find
our center of levity. So, all those who wish to take a vow of levity -
Repeat after me. "All for fun ... and fun for all!"
And may we laugh, laugh, laugh till the sacred cows come home.
© Copyright 2012 by Steve Bhaerman. All rights
Swami Beyondananda is the cosmic comic alter ego of writer Steve
Bhaerman, and can be found online at http://www.wakeuplaughing.com/.
Interested in booking Swami for a personal appearance? Contact his office
at (707) 888-7260.
Swamis 2011 State of the Universe Address
The Shift Has Hit the
And All Heaven Has Broken Loose
By Swami Beyondananda
The shift has hit the fan. And all heaven has broken loose.
You say, Heaven?? Where the hell do you see heaven?
And yes. If you look at the news headlines from the past year, youd have a hell
of a time finding any heaven. Its a dogma-eat-dogma world out there, and
everyone seems caught up in the bipolar insanity. Even Poland is polarized the
North Poles and the South Poles. We talk about peace in the Middle East and we
cant even make peace in the Middle West. Here in America, we have a deeply
divided body politic. Half the population believes our election system is
broken. The other half believes it is fixed.
In 2010, political anger became all the rage, as town hall meetings turned into
I scream anti-socials, and enlightened discourse into heated detestimonials.
The Tea Party Movement, a coalition of civil libertarians and uncivil
libertarians, provided an ideal cover for mining interests (as in, thats mine
thats mine thats mine) to throw barrels of anonymous money into Congressional
races to defeat Democratic candidates.
Of course we all know that when it comes to defeating Democratic candidates, no
one does it better than the Democrats themselves. In the area of self-defeat,
the Democrats are simply unbeatable. Somehow, in just two years they turned a
mandate into a man-who-cant-get-a-date.
A Wolfowitz in Sheepowitzs
There is one prime cause of disillusionment, and that is illusionment. And in
these challenging times, its understandable how a population can get strung out
on hopium. America has been going through a dark night, and who wouldnt want a
white knight on a dark night albeit a slightly darker white knight?
But a lad and a lack. So far, our lad seems to lack the will or the power to
stand up to the forces of endarkened self-interest. Barack Obamas neo-liberal
foreign policy looks pretty much like George Bushs neoconservative one, and
disheartened progressives who believed in Obamas election rhetoric are
beginning to think they fell for the old debate and switch, and we ended up
with a Wolfowitz in sheepowitzs clothing.
On the other hand, how can we expect a President to stand tall, when the body
politic is so sickly and out of shape? After all, were still suffering from the
lingering effects of Mad Cowboy Disease and chronic electile dysfunction, not
to mention irony deficiency and truth decay brought on by weapons of mass
distraction. And lets not forget the Deficit Inattention Disorder that led to
our near-debt experience.
American Middle Class Tops Endangered
To add injury to insult, the American middle class continued to top the
Endangered Species List, caught between the lowly criminal at the bottom, and
the highly criminal at the top. Maybe Im old fashioned, but Im nostalgic for
the good old days when people robbed banks. Once again in 2010, Chase chased
us, Wachovia walked over us, and the name Goldman Sachs tells us all we need to
know: We have been sacked by the gold men. Gold-collar criminals have overruled
the Golden Rule with the Gold Rules Rule: Doo-doo unto others before they can
doo-doo unto you.
And lets be honest. Not just the people at the top, but everyone seemed to buy
into the boom that could never go bust. And then BOOM! The bubble popped, and
just like that, were busted. So, the moral is: Dont put your faith in false
Sadly, the financial fleecing didnt awaken the body politic, but it was harder
to sleep through the alarming oil spill in the Gulf last spring. So perhaps it
takes a pillage AND a spillage to wake the village to stop the drillage and
The upwising continued to gather esteem in 2010, and the irony curtain is
becoming more and more transparent. Wikileaks emerged to challenge our official
media, Weaky-Licks, to help end the other dont ask, dont tell policy thats
where the American people promise not to ask what the government is doing to
keep them safe, and the government promises not to tell them. When the people
choose to not see what is too uncomfortable to look at, the inevitable result
Time to Gather Under One Big Intent
But enough about our small world down here. This is, after all, the State of
the Universe, and theres a big, big Universe out there, which is pretty much
purring in perfection. Which is to say there is a hell of lot of heaven out
So, you are asking, why the hell isnt heaven here, already? Everything seems to
be crashing down, and heaven is nowhere to be found!
As a cautious optimystic, I say that contrary to the way things appear, the sky
is not falling. It only looks that way because we are ascending. Yes, thanks to
the evolutionary upwising and the recently declared state of emerge n see
(where we emerge from fear and separation and see how we are connected), we
humans are better able to rise to the occasion than ever before. And when it
comes to rising above whatever has been bringing us down, nothing works like
Now I certainly would never want to impose my spiritual faith on anyone else,
but I must declare that I am a FUNdamentalist, accent on the FUN. While some of
the less fun fundamentalists believe that heaven is above us, we
FUNdamentalists believe that heaven is where we make it. FUNdamentalists are
strictly non-dominational, so we have no commandments. But we do have One
Suggestion: Lets go for heaven on earth, just for the hell of it!
OK, you protest, thats the ideal, but how do we deal with the real deal?
Its simple, although it may not be easy. If the uncommonly wealthy have
hijacked the commonwealth, we the people must higher-jack it. And we do so by
acting on another FUNdamentalist suggestion: Were not here to earn Gods love,
were here to spend it!
That is how heaven is breaking loose, with people spending their love like its
going into style. Think about it. Someone comes into a room overflowing with
love, and 300 people leave with that love and pay it forward somewhere else.
Love, joy and laughter they are the loaves and fishes of spiritual nourishment.
Yes, heaven has broken loose and we are here to put it together. Each of us if
we so choose brings a piece of heaven. You have a little piece here, a little
piece there, and before long, you have one big peace everywhere.
So now is the time for all those heaven-bent on planetary transformation to
gather under one big intent that reflects the heart core values shared by
humans the world over: We are here to re-grow the Garden, and have a heaven of
a time doing it.
And when the cosmic beings ask, Oh, by the way, how did the human race turn
out? the answer will be, They won. They achieved Oneness and won. This is the
true second coming. The human drama achieves a pleasurable climax, as everyone
Copyright 2011 Steve Bhaerman. All rights
reserved. Swami Beyondananda is the cosmic comic alter ego of Steve Bhaerman,
and can be found online at http://www.wakeuplaughing.com/ And seriously read Steves serious
book with Bruce Lipton, Spontaneous Evolution: Our Positive Future and a
Way to Get There From Here, available at
http://www.wakeuplaughing.com/ along with some free bonus
articles. For reprint information,
please contact email@example.com
December 23, 2010
A Holiday Message
From Swami Beyondananda
Everyone at Wake Up Laughing Productions
Friends, Family, Co-Hearts,
wish you a blessed holiday season
Filled with laughter and merriment,
And may your bliss spill over to 2011 and beyond.
remember ... YOU are the gift.
BeyondaNews December 13, 2010
Yes, Virginia There IS a Sanity
the Gift of Laughter, and Move the Upwising Forward
What do we REALLY want this Holiday season?
A. More stuff to stuff in our Holiday stockings?
B. A happier, healthier, saner world?
Well, if you voted A, I have good news. You can click right here, https://www.wakeuplaughing.com/epistore and get some of the
hilarious stocking-stuffer stuff the Swami is stocking.
If you voted for B, here is even better news. Five out of five leading
humorologists agree that laughter helps restore happiness, health and sanity! A
daily laughsitive has proven effective in relieving irregularhilarity, and has
even shown promise in treating deep-seated jestive disorders like
Friends and Family Are Pre-Qualified to Receive a Gift From the
The Swami tells us there are two kinds of people in this world. The kind that
love to laugh, and the kind that need to. That makes everyone on your list
pre-qualified to receive a gift from the Swami.
For the political folks on any side, all sides or no side you can choose the
book Swami for Precedent: A 7-Step Plan to
Heal the Body Politic and Cure Electile Dysfunction (still
all-too-relevant six years after it was published). Or the Tickling the Body
Politic DVD (The Natural Enquirer called it a kitschy, kitschy coup), or the
Supreme Court Jester CD (if the person
on your list is a Marxist, all the better. The cover features Harpo, Chico,
Groucho and Karl).
How about those who are a bit woo-woo or even just woo? Swamis classic offering
Dont Squeeze the Shaman is perfect. In
addition to hearing the GURU Rap Song (Gee
You Are You), they will finally discover why men have nipples.
Your scientist friends, who think that om is a measurement of resistance? Give
them Beyondananda and Beyond, Steves
talk on healing humor, followed by some cosmic comedy by the Swami.
How about those who love singing in the car and listening to the radio? Give
them the karma driving tunes on Drive Your
Karma, Curb Your Dogma, which also features Karma Talk, the State of the
Universe Address, and Howard Cosell doing an infomercial for Swamis ultimate
Go here to order: https://www.wakeuplaughing.com/epistore
And what if you cant make up your mind? No problem. We have two ridiculously
inexpensive offers the Fool Enchilada
Special, and the Healing Laughter
Special. And wait theres more. Tell us who youre buying the gift for,
and Swami will provide a personalized holiday gift card for each (upon
receiving your order, we will ask for their names). Check out our specials
And Seriously, Folks
OK, so laughter can help restore sanity. But if youre seriously considering
committing our species to a sane asylum, then nothing works better than a new
story, particularly a story worth living into. Spontaneous Evolution is now in paperback, so if
you have friends who are ready for the most amazing adventure in human history,
conscious evolution, invite them to join the upwising. We also have the
Spontaneous Evolution, 5-CD set
produced by Sounds True, and a special deal if you get them both. https://www.wakeuplaughing.com/epistore/index.php?category=Package+Deals
Act Now Strike While The Irony Is
If youd like these to get to you or your giftees by Christmas (or
immediate-post-Hanukah), your order is best received by Friday, December 17th.
Want to buy in larger quantities at a discount? Dont see the deal you want?
Call us at (707) 888-7260 and place your order there. Oh, and if you want a
peek at an evolutionary story in development, please check out the
Transpartisan Upwising right here: http://transpartisan.us/
BeyondaNews Sep 28, 2010
1. Announcing Swamis Oslo to Jupiter Tour.
2. Swami and Steve Now Have a New Agent.
Announcing: Swamis Oslo to Jupiter
Wake Up Laughing, Wise Up Loving
From Oslo to Jupiter and Beyond!
Comic Swami Beyondananda
To promote the Evolutionary Up-Wising and bring laughter and love to the
Friends and Co-Hearts:
How far will Swami go to
spread his message of healing laughter, love and wisdom? From Oslo to Jupiter
upcoming tour will not only take Swami and Steve to Oslo, Norway but to Jupiter
as well. OK, its Jupiter, Florida, but still And the purpose of the tour
is two-fold. First, its to raise the planetary laugh force by bringing laughter
and love through Swamis comedy disguised as wisdom, and wisdom disguised as
comedy. Secondly, its to spread the word about Spontaneous Evolution, Steves
paradigm-busting book with Bruce Lipton. Along with book signings, talks and
workshops on the topic, Steve will be looking for signs of human evolution
wherever he goes.
You may already
know of Steves work in the guise of Swami Beyondananda. Noted author Marianne
Williamson has called him the Mark Twain of our generation because the comedy
is not only hilariously funny, but also offers sharp social commentary and
another side to Swami. His alter ego Steve Bhaerman recently completed a book
with cellular biologist Bruce Lipton (The
Biology of Belief) that offers a truly heartening view of our
evolutionary future based both on modern science and ancient wisdom. The book,
Spontaneous Evolution: Our Positive Future
and a Way to Get There From Here, has been called world-changing both by
spiritual luminary Deepak Chopra and political commentator Thom
Hartmann. Wake Up Laughing, Wise Up
Loving is based on a key premise of Spontaneous Evolution that we are each and
all cells in the body of a super-organism called Humanity, in the service of
the web of life. And now, in a shrinking world that could use a good shrink, we
manifest this evolution together by expanding awareness and community. This
community celebration is designed to do both!
begins with an inspiring and funny presentation by Steve Bhaerman designed to
foment an evolutionary upwising.
turban-powered Swami Beyondananda creates a field of hearty laughter and
inspired celebration. Not only is the Swami a master of enlightening word play,
he is the only guru who channels both Elvis and Bullwinkle. And he takes live
questions from the audience. If you have an answerable question, the Swami will
have a questionable answer for you!
And Swamis alter
ego Steve will be there to sign copies of Spontaneous Evolution, as well as the Swamis
classic book, Swami for Precedent: A 7-Step
Plan to Heal the Body Politic and Cure Electile
So far, we have
nine cities on the tour, which begins in Oslo, Norway on Saturday, October 16th
at the Fry og Gammen Festival at the Beitostolen Resort (no idea why Beito
actually pilfered the resort, and hope he brings it back by the time we get
Other shows and
October 22nd Charlottesville, Virginia
Oct. 23rd-24th Virginia Beach, Virginia
October 29th Sarasota, Florida
October 30th Jupiter, Florida
November 2nd Key West, Florida
November 3rd Marathon Key, Florida
November 5th Chattanooga, Tennessee
Nov. 6th-7th Nashville, Tennessee
You can get the details
here and follow Steves blog and get updates. If you would like to be an
underwriter or sponsor for the tour, please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
and write sponsor in the subject line, and we will tell you more. (Already a
Wake Up Laughing e-book Co-Heart? You get a special deal.)
Tell all your
friends, because when it comes to laughter, the more the
To learn more
about the Swami and Steve, please visit us online at http://www.wakeuplaughing.com/ To find out how to bring this
one-of-a-kind program to your community, please contact Trudy Trueheart at
(707) 525-0778 or email her at email@example.com
Swami and Steve Have a New
Fast Lane International
In further developments in
moving the upwising forward, we are pleased to announce a working relationship
with George Michallow and Fast Lane International, who will be booking Steve
and Swami for festival, college and corporate events. George has represented
reggae, alternative and other musical acts for over 25 years, and now is
representing us because of his mission to present uplifting performers and
presenters dedicated to helping humanity peacefully evolve. Thank you, George.
Steve and Swami are pleased to join your rasta roster. If you would like to
book Steve and / or Swami for a festival, college or corporate event, please
contact George Michallow at:
Road Suite 203
BeyondaNews July 19, 2010
1. Mega Oops!
2. Swami Goes North Trip Report.
3. Fall Tour Falling Into Place.
4. Spontaneous Evolution / Notes From the Trail Special Offer!
A not-so-funny thing happened on the way to my scheduled appearance as part of
teleclass this past Sunday. I slept through it.
While some listening in may have thought I was channeling Swamis Ultimate
Meditation CD (which is completely blank), actually I was caught up in my own
dream world, blithely unaware of the earthly constrictions of time.
To explain further, I have a policy that I dont schedule anything on the day
after returning from a trip. In this case -- because I so believe in the need
for mass intentional meditations in these challenging times -- I agreed to be
on this conference call the morning after returning home.
Well, the Universe had a different idea.
You can only imagine how mortified I was when I sauntered into my office at 9
a.m., and saw the email reminder that I was due to be on a call that had just
ended. Dang! If only I had paid more attention in time travel class!
But a lad ... and a lack. There was a lack of this lad on the phone call, and I
must humbly own up to the mega oops. In these kinds of situations, I look for
two kinds of lessons: the lesson for me, and the one that will hopefully
Upon reflection, a story came to mind that I heard many years ago. A guru in
India called for his most trusted disciple. A tsunami wave will hit the village
tomorrow at noon, the master said. Go warn everyone in the village to get to
high ground, and they will be safe.
Dutifully, the disciple went through the village and warned every family. The
next day, true to the prediction, the huge wave swept through the village.
Everyone was saved. Everyone, that is, except the dutiful disciple. He had
forgotten to heed his own message.
And so it was with me. While traveling, it became clear that the political
transformation we seek can only come when we each build true connection with
Spirit, so we have an unshakeable foundation whenever we are tempted by anger
and blame, or disempowered by fear or hopelessness.
I had received the clear message that taking time out of time time -- i.e., a
Sabbath -- was essential to maintain balance and connection, and the day after
returning from a trip presented the perfect time to quietly reflect. But I
pre-empted this pledge to participate in something I deemed truly useful ...
and well, you know the rest.
So, I humbly apologize for my failure to convert my own consciousness for the
Conscious Conversion call ... and hope it serves as a reminder for all of us to
heed our own good advice! I will be participating with Common Passion in the
near future, and in terms of being there, I quote the prophet Bullwinkle: THIS
time for SURE!
Goes North Trip Report
Just returned from
points north, and in spite of the temporary disappearance of my energy field
(this always happens when I enter Aura Gone), I am still smiling. Did we enjoy
the Oregon Country Fair? Well, heres a picture worth at least 1,000 words ...
thats Jocelyn Olivier, founder of Alive & Well Institute of Conscious Body
Work, and Trudy in the back row, and (left to right) thats me, author / radio
personality Wes Scoop Nisker, and the legendary Patch Adams. Believe me, my
clown chakra is now completely open.
We had two fun and intimate evenings at Unity of Salem, and the Grants Pass
Center for Spiritual Living, and our next appearance will be for the Sunday
morning talk at San Francisco Unity on
August 1st, where I will present on Spontaneous Evolution and Heartland
Tour Falling Into Place
Heres a question: How come people always say, Have a great spring, and Have a
great summer, ... but no one ever says, Have a great fall? At least not since
Humpty Dumpty. Anyway, looks like fans of cosmic comedy across the country will
have a great autumn season, as our tours take us to Dallas-Ft. Worth, Austin,
Nashville, Virginia Beach, Florida, Pittsburgh ... and Oslo, Norway. You say,
Norway! and I say, Way! Swami better get out his Norweegie board in
preparation. Details to follow.
And ... if you would like to book a fun(d) raiser featuring the Swami, a
conference appearance, or an intimate evening of cosmic comedy, now is the
time. If you or your organization are interested, just respond to this email
with show in the subject line.
Special Offer: Spontaneous Evolution, and Notes From the Trail
For those of you who enjoy Notes From the Trail,
and havent yet become a paid subscriber, here is our current offer: Subscribe
now for $33, and get an autographed hardbound edition of Spontaneous Evolution: Our Positive Future and a Way to Get
There From Here. (a $31 value!) Its a no-lose opportunity. If the book
becomes really famous, youll have a famous autograph. If not, youll have a rare
book! Offer is limited through July 31, 2010, or while supplies last.
Seriously, the book is doing well, and is set for the next edition due out in
September. Meanwhile, its been translated into several languages, and has
appeared or will very soon appear in German, Spanish, French, Portugese, and in
editions in Czechoslovakia, Slovenia, Poland, Latin America and China.
As for Notes From the Trail, we are in the process of setting up a proper blog
page, which will soon include a weekly State of the Universe Report video from
the Swami. As always, Notes From the Trail is available free of charge ... and
your financial support enables us to do so!
Become a paid subscriber, sponsor or super-sidizer here
Or sign on to receive our Notes communiques
June 21, 2010
1. Message From Swami: It Takes a Pillage and a Spillage to Wake the
Village and Stop the Drillage.
2. Seriously Folks, Isn't It Time for Heartland Security?
It Takes a Pillage and a Spillage to
Wake the Village and Stop the Drillage
Message From Swami Beyondananda
whole world is shocked and saddened by the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico,
and I for one am hoping that there is some redeeming benefit in this
ecological horror. Since you tend to have a positive perspective, can you
find something positive to say about this disaster? Is there some way
humanity can deal with this cataclysm?
It is indeed
challenging to say something positive about this disaster, but here goes: I
am positive this is a disaster. With all the technical fixes broken, there's no
telling how long BP will be peeing into the Gulf.
You know, it
doesn't seem to matter how alarming the alarm is, we humans tend to want to
hit snooze. But it's getting harder to snooze through the news. Take the
economic meltdown -- please! While Americans felt the pain, and older folks
waxed nostalgic about the good old days, when people robbed banks instead
of the other way around, in the end most folks watched passively as our
commonwealth got pillaged by the uncommonly wealthy.
But if a
pillage alone doesn't awaken the village, then maybe a pillage AND a
spillage will do it. And now that Obama has presented BP with a $20 billion
invoice, maybe it takes a billage to stop the drillage.
But here is
the problem. We humans are so used to fighting amongst ourselves (and that
includes all of us, folks ... that's why I know that a sign that
Nonjudgment Day is near is when all the peace groups make peace with one
another), that we haven't yet learned to speak in one voice to say, "Stop
the pillage, the spillage and the drillage ... we are poisoning our global
And ... more
importantly ... in that same unified voice, declare the One Suggestion as
the new planetary operating system: "We are here to re-grow the Garden, and
have a heaven of a time doing it."
If we really
want to overgrow the current system ruled by fossilized fools fueled by
fossil fuels, we have to address that other spillage of crude that has
polluted our body politic: The igno-rants of media motor mouths,
particularly those on Fox "News" who have turned their lie-ability into an
asset. If only the Evangelicals were into metaphysics ... they would see
that F-O-X is 6-6-6 in numerology.
spewing more crude back is no way to bring fear-fed red tribe
"conservatives" out of their Fox holes. And that brings me to the one sure
antidote to cataclysm. Dogaclysm.
millennia our spiritual teachers have been telling us to treat one another
like brothers and sisters. And we see how well that has worked. Because,
let's face it. How did we treat our brothers and sisters? We fought with
them. We were jealous. We thought, "Mommy likes you better." Or, "Mommy
likes me better, so nyah nyah, nyah!"
happened when a new puppy came into the household? Everyone stopped
fighting and began petting the puppy together. And that's what we need
today. Puppy love. Instead of treating one another like brothers and
sisters, let's begin to treat each other like lovable puppies, and begin to
feel the love. Did you know that when you come in contact with a friendly
dog, your body secretes healthy hormones called puptides? And no wonder.
Dogs are so filled with unconditional love, it's literally dripping over
the sides of their mouths. Maybe the secret to world peace is empowering an
elite corps of golden retrievers, beagles and spaniels to anoint all
negotiators with their kisses before, during and after their sessions.
Imagine ... the Salivation Army.
And so ...
nature has presented us with a cataclysm, and we must respond with a
dogaclysm -- a tsunami wave of love so doggone powerful that the agents of
pillage, spillage and drillage will have no choice but to obey the Master
and sit ... stay ... and roll over.
funny / sad illustration is by Brian Narelle
Time for a Department of Heartland Security?
As people watch this
current ecological disaster unfold, and wonder if there is any upside to
the downer, I think of what co-heart and storyteller David Lynn
Grimes said at Caroline Casey's
Training Tea Party this past weekend: "The oil spill is a sentient act of
Mother Earth to wake us up."
David was on
the scene 21 years ago when the Exxon-Valdez spewed its spillage on the
Prince William Sound, and saw firsthand the precursor to this current
curse. However awful the situation, there was an unplanned upside. "They
were all set to clear-cut the Alaskan forest ... and the oil spill stopped
the development," he says.
So, here is
my hope and my prayer. May this disaster be the pre-blesser to a truly new
world order that establishes itself as a stand for a new Humanity with the
mission of re-growing the Garden. May we cohere as a species around
uncommon common sense and the virtues and values the vast majority of us
hold in common. May we use our polarities as a dynamo to evolve in a spiral
instead of going around in circles.
impossible to gather that kind of energy?
this. In 2008, the Obama campaign raised half a billion dollars in
individual contributions. What exactly did that buy us? True, we don't have
McCain-Palin ruling the roost ... but considering that a victory is like
going to the race track to bet a bundle and saying, "Gee, I hope I break
world in crisis, and world of opportunity, there is no breaking even. We
either break through, or we break down. Right now, we seem to be breaking
down ... and are ripe for a breakthrough.
And that is
why I am rolling up a lifetime of experience -- in political science,
psychology, spirituality and of course, humor -- into a mission to launch a
Department of Heartland Security as a non-governmental, non-coercive
non-organization to activate the heart and soul of we the people. Our
intention is to gather around the Heart to heal the Land, and provide us
with the Security that comes from respecting the individual in the context
Heart represents our universal spiritual foundation, the vast and
untapped resource of love and connection.
Land represents a restorative, sustainable economy that empowers a
mutually beneficial partnership between human and
Security represents our evolution from the single cell
"every-cell-for-itself" philosophy to the multi-cell
"we're-all-in-this-together." In doing so, we move from survival of the
fittest to thrival of the fittingest, from mutually-assured destruction to
trips your trigger, and you're ready to help turn the ideal into the
real-deal, please respond to this email with "Heartland" in the subject
field. There are many, many ways you can participate. As Caroline Casey
would say, "Co-operators are standing by."
And ... if
you like these kinds of messages, and you don't already subscribe to Notes
From the Trail, subscribe
It's free. However, we cheerfully encourage donations. You can become an
official paid subscriber for just $33, or you can subsidize or even
super-sidize Notes From the Trail by donating even
And ... you
can donate any amount, large or small via Paypal. Send money to:
Also... If you would like to answer Swami's brief questionnaire and
possibly win a prize, please send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org and put
"Answer" in the subject line.
May we wake
up, and wise up.
evolution has begun!
Copyright 2010 by Steve Bhaerman. All rights